OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
