i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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