i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
