So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
