Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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