people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My ATM looks so different sober.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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