im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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