If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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