Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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