**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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