mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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