i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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