I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
