i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
