what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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