i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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