What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
