So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
