didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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