Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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