You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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