I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I didn't shave. On purpose
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
