After last night, I could never be a politician.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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