he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
