just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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