I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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