I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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