You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
