Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
