I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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