I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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