You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
