I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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