I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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