last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think people are normalizing furries
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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