You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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