I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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