This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
