Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it fun? or sober?
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