Is it because I queefed?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
