please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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