well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
