We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
