Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
