Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
