Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
