Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
