yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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