it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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