i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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