I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
