i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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