State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
