Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
